You're Engaged! Now what? 5 Steps to do BEFORE Planning

Congratulations! You are finally engaged after dropping all of those "subtle" hints you dropped to your partner. You cannot stop looking at your gorgeous ring and it feels surreal. You are engaged. You have a FIANCE!

You call the family to let them know and everyone is ALREADY asking if you've picked a date.... SLOWWW DOWN PEOPLE! It has hardly sunk in yet and here everyone is asking for details?! Time to get some planning done, but where to start?

Don't worry, I've been there and get it. When I got engaged I got caught up in Pinterest, and daydreaming about what the big day before doing some super important steps. Learn from my mistakes and follow my super simple first steps list before planning to make your life so much easier!

1. Sit down and talk to your partner about what is most important to you both.

Before planning anything, budgeting, booking, etc. sit down and talk to your partner about what is most important to you. For example, my fiancé and I moved to Calgary AB with very limited family out here. Both of our immediate families and friends were in different provinces. This meant that inviting our loved ones would require a large financial and time commitment from our guests, so we decided that the most important thing to us was that they have fun and feel spoiled. We decided on a theme of "Backyard Shenanigans". What did this theme look like to us? An early ceremony so our guests can maximize time together, an open bar so guests could relax and drink, lots of lawn games and a somewhat casual attire. With every vendor we hired we tried to keep that theme in mind. The venue we chose had a massive lawn for our guests to play lawn games on and a house for the bridal party to stay in/get ready in. Our photographer specialized in candid photos, we decided on an informal BBQ Buffet-style dinner... You get my point. This decision helps focus you on where to spend your money and how to keep your theme consistent throughout your wedding.

2. Make a budget

Now that you have determined what is most important to you, this is the time to make a budget framework on where to best allocate your money. This budget will be a living document as you research vendors, come up with new ideas, etc. At this point your budget is a framework or guideline for you to pick your vendors with. I would recommend allocating the majority of your budget to the venue and photography/videography for a few reasons. The venue will be in every one of your pictures so you want it to be something you are happy with, and the photos/videos are the only thing you are taking with you after the event. Of course, this is just a suggestion. If you are foodies, spend your money on amazing food, if you are into fashion spend money on your dress. This goes back to what is important to you. Check out my budgeting template to help you determine where to put your money or book a consult!

3. Make a guest list

Your guest list impacts quite a bit. More guests equals a larger venue, more invites to spend money on, more mouths to feed, more drinks to buy, etc. Check out my wedding size guide to help determine which type of wedding you want, and my guest tracker template to help you organize and track your guest, invites and RSVPs. Typically, around 80% of guests say yes, so don't invite 200 people hoping only 100 will show. I phoned my mom during this process because she keeps in touch with most of my extended family. This was a really fun way to have her involved in the early wedding planning process and she helped me remember people to invite. Once I compiled a list of everyone I knew, I organized them into categories: "A List" for people that I thought needed to be there, and "B List" for people who I thought might not come or people. My fiancé and I had a rule; if we haven't spoken to them in 2 years they do not make the A list or are not invited.

4. Pick a date

It is okay if you are flexible on your date, but at least try to narrow down the month or season. Close your eyes and imagine your wedding day. If you are picturing something light and airy, perhaps you want a summer wedding. If it is dark and moody, autumn might be the best. Consider your bridesmaids colours, are they warm or cool? Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? Do you want a long weekend, normal weekend or even weekday? Depending on what you are looking for, the season or style may impact your choice of date. Consider how long away it is and if you have time to save up for it. Another thing to consider is if it is a long weekend or holiday, will your guests want to come (ie. Christmas), and some vendors may charge premiums for holiday rates.

5. Book a venue

Once you determine a concept, budget, guest count and date, you can start looking at vendors! I recommend looking at venues first because it is what everything else will centre around. They will commonly ask what your guest count and desired date is. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted in a venue until we started touring them. I dragged my fiancé to venues all over the province (and even into neighbouring provinces) but could not figure out why nothing felt quite right. Check out my venue touring template to help organize your thoughts and rate components of each venue. We rated each component out of 10 and were surprised with the venue that we both ended up liking best and had no problem ruling out the ones that rarely ranked over a 7/10. Most venues require a fairly large deposit, ranging from 5-33% of the venue cost so make sure you have the cash on hand to put down a deposit before touring it - especially if you have a specific date in mind. Check out my touring venues blog for tips on which questions to ask your venue!

Now that you have your 5 pre-planning steps complete, you will be armed with the information needed to make the right decisions about your wedding. Planning your big day may seem overwhelming but by tackling little steps one at a time you will be amazed by how quickly things come together! If you need help with any of these steps, book a consult with me and I can be your sounding board, or read my other blogs for inspo!

Just remember - you've got this!